Angelicsight Newsletter #8
 
+Boulders in the road. . .
+As we forgive those who trespass against us. . . .
 
+ Boulders in the Road. . .

Do you believe that there is a greater force or energy that guides our lives?  Do you believe that that greater force or Spirit is assisting us each and every moment?  When we are having a good day, Spirit is with us. When we are having a bad day, Spirit is with us.   When you've encountered your darkest of moments or your lowest of lows have you felt as though Spirit wasn't with you?  Most people think that Spirit leaves us when the 'going gets tough'.  In those moments, a lot of us lose faith.  We feel abandoned, alone and the struggle of life seems insurmountable.  It is not Spirit who turns its back on us when life becomes intolerable, but we who turn our back on Spirit.  The thought that Spirit has led us to this darkened place makes us disconnect from Spirit.  We cannot understand how we've arrived at this place and what its' meaning is.  We only want to know how we can get out of this agony and move on to happier places.

"During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."  unknown 

In our loneliest of moments, we are never without Spirit.  Recently I have found myself saying to a lot of clients, "Where's your faith?"  With all the shifts, changes, newness and unfamiliar ground we are covering;  we've lost faith that a divine force is guiding us.  Yes, the changes are challenging and things are happening that don't make sense.  Where is the faith that no matter what it is that you are experiencing you are going to be okay?  Spirit would never harm us.  Spirit loves us and is trying to guide us.  Whether its depression, a dark night of the soul or encountering the deepest level of despair, the most important thing is to go with the emotions you are feeling and trust that Spirit is guiding you.

The story of life goes something like this:  We travel down the path and feel like we know where we are going and what we are supposed to be doing.  There is a bump or pothole in the road here and there and yet we forge ahead.  From time to time, Spirit throws a boulder in the way and not only do we have to make a sudden careen to the left, but the path appears to be lost.  We fight, we resist, we struggle, and we get angry, sad and depressed.  We lose hope.  We want so desperately to get back on the path and continue the journey.  We just can't find our way back.  In time; after the tears, anger and the turning of our backs on Spirit, we realize that the boulder in the road was a blessing and that the sudden careening to the left turned out to be an amazing thing.  We are happy because we are back on the path AGAIN!  We realize that all of the anger, pain and confusion we suffered was fruitless.  Spirit has guided us to a better place.  This is a blessing!  In hindsight, we can see the blessing.  The goal of the path is to see the blessing as it unfolds.  The story of life makes us think we should know the 'way' our path is to be traveled.  You will never know the 'way' the path is to be traveled.  That is one of the mysteries of life.  The 'way' knows the 'way'.

The story of life is not about a series of coincidences, but a carefully planned set of synchronistic and serendipitous events.  Nothing occurs by randomness or mere chance.  Think of the events that have shaped your life:  a chance meeting, being in the right place at the right time, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, taking the wrong exit on the freeway, signing up for the wrong class,  getting off the incorrect floor of an elevator or escalator, getting lost, going to a party or event that you don't want to go to, meeting a kind stranger, picking up the phone when you don't recognize the caller's id or getting fired from a job.  Some of these things can be classified as potholes, bumps in the road or minor inconveniences.  Some of these things can be classified as boulders.  None of them, however, are mere coincidences.  If you trust that Spirit is always guiding and supporting us, you need to believe that anything that occurs is a divine action.  If you get divorced, get fired from a job, find your spouse cheating, lose your home, etc., you need to see the perfection in it all.  There is a divine blessing here that may not be immediately recognizable. 

Back in mid-2002 while pursuing my acting career, I was working part-time for a non-profit organization in midtown Manhattan.  The job was perfect because it supplemented the money I wasn't making in the acting community.  Like most non-profits during that time, there was a crunch to cut expenses and save money.  In order to rein in costs, the company decided to hire an outside consulting firm to evaluate all departments and all employee job functions.  This was an ongoing process that occurred over several months.  One morning, we were all called to a staff meeting.  The director explained to us that the results of the consultant's report had been finalized and that an undisclosed number of employees were being released immediately.  If was after that speech that my spirit guide whispered in my ear that I was going to be let go.  "What?", I said to him.  "I'm only a p/t employee.  I work 14 hours a week."  "You're GOING!", he said and our discussion ended.  Thirty minutes later I was back at my cubicle when one of the girls in the department approached me and said I needed to go see the director.  She had that look on her face like she knew and of course I KNEW (thank you spirit guide).  I can't imagine that anyone likes to fire people, but this director's job that day included firing a bunch of us.  I was the first to be let go.  She tried to be as tactful as possible, but what is there to say except:  "I'm sorry, but we're letting you go.  Sign this form, please.  I'll need you to turn in your key card to security.  We'll pay you one month's severance and you'll need to leave as soon as possible.  By the way, if you are taking anything other than personal belongings it will need to be reviewed by security."  In less than thirty minutes, I had cleaned out my desk, passed work on to others and said good-bye to co-workers I known for one and a half years.  I found myself standing on the corner of Broadway and 37th Street thinking how surreal the whole situation had been. 

Was it a boulder in my path?  Yes!  While I didn't understand the firing, I trusted that Spirit had something else in store for me.  I initially felt as though I gotten off the path, but in the end the boulder in the road proved to get me back on the path once again.  The firing was a blessing. Why?  I was guided to contact a new acting teacher.  Not only did I become his student, but I also became his assistant.    My work with him and the skills I learned proved invaluable.  He molded and shaped my technique so I could start getting call-backs.  Within a few months, I was auditioning constantly, getting call-backs and watching in amazement as opportunities fell in my lap.  I cannot convey to all of you how important it is to have faith for all the things that occur in your life.  There are times when things won't make sense.  There are times when people will deceive us, hurt us or disappoint us.  The boulders are unavoidable.  You can see the boulders in the road as terrible or you can see them as divine actions.  Spirit may not always make things happen the way we would like them to happen, but things will happen to forward our journey on the path.  There are many ways to solidify your faith:  prayer, the rosary, going to Church, meditation, walking meditation, lighting candles and engaging in ritual.  Whatever you choose, please keep the light of faith shining brilliantly throughout your life.  Your trust in the mysteriousness of Spirit and its' workings will only make the path more joyful. 

 As we forgive those who trespass against us. . . .

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." - The Lord's Prayer

At any given moment in life, there is someone we need to forgive.  Is it the mother who didn't nurture us?  The father who was absent?  The boyfriend or girlfriend who cheated on us?  Is it the friend who said hurtful things to us or the boss who constantly berates you?  Is it the woman who hit your car or the guy who ran over your puppy?  Is it the neighborhood kid who broke your lawn mower or the co-worker who stole your bright idea for the marketing campaign?  Is it the burglar who broke into your house or the rapist who victimized you?  Is it the man or woman who broke your heart or the child who refuses to respect you?  

When we recite The Lord's Prayer, we ask Spirit to forgive us our 'trespasses', but we grasp tightly onto the notion of forgiving others for their 'trespasses'.  What is that unwillingness, that unrelenting feeling that we cannot forgive someone for their actions?  In the last few years, I've given several workshops that discuss how to incorporate Don Luiz Miguel's "The Four Agreements" into your life.  In the introduction to the book, Mr. Ruiz writes about how we each live in our own reality.  A reality that is shaped and formed by the way we perceive the world.  A reality that is created by many things:  our environment, our parents, the country where we live, the climate, the people in our environment, etc.  My reality is different from your reality.  Your reality is different from your spouse's reality and his/her reality is different from all his/her co-workers.  Children will have a different reality even if they were raised by the same parents.  If we all have different realities and different ways of perceiving this world we live in, isn't easy to see how one person's actions and behaviors can be hurtful to another?  The reality of someone who hits your puppy with his car and takes off is very different from the reality of someone who tried to mother you, but gave you no nurturing at all.  The reality of the lover who cheats on you is different than the reality of your own son/daughter disrespecting you.  While we can understand and accept that a person's reality causes him/her to act a certain way, can we forgive that person for those actions? 

Last summer over Labor Day weekend, I woke up to an incessant knocking at my door.  Dazed I got up, went to the door and asked who it was.  I live in a two-family house.  It was the tenant from the other part of the house who was banging on my door.  I opened the door to hear, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."  I was half asleep and asked her what she meant.  She then explained that while backing out of the driveway she didn't see my car and ran into it.  Ugh!!!  Since I park in the same spot every night and have done so for over a year, you can imagine my frustration in wondering how she didn't see my car.  For the next week, I went and got several estimates and submitted them to her.  She couldn't believe she'd done $1,200 worth of damage to my car.  After all my estimates were done, she decided she didn't want to pay for it.  Next, she decided she'd prefer to go through the insurance company.  I had to make many phone calls to her insurance company followed by more estimates.  Overall this resulted in a lot of aggravation on my part.  In the end, I got a check from her insurance company and her insurance went up.  Do I wish this incident never occurred?  Yes!  Do I forgive her for what happened?  Absolutely!  She made a mistake and while I wasn't happy about what happened I forgave her and moved on.  

Back in 2002 in NYC, I had a client who hated his father.  His disgust, disrespect and hate for his father energetically reverberated from him.  It spilled into his conversations and literally crippled his ability to move forward in life.  My client came from 'old money' and his father had shipped him off to boarding school after divorcing his mother.  My client was young when this happened and rebelled in many ways.  He drank and did drugs.  He got poor grades in school and acted up in any way possible.  My client did all of these things to get back at his father for abandoning him and making him feel unloved and unworthy.   

As I mentioned in my article on "Shifting Gears" (See Newsletter 7), unresolved emotional issues manifest in the body as disease.  When I met my client he was in his 30's and living in NYC.  After years of harboring such a tremendous amount of anger towards his father, my clients' emotions began to show up in his physical body.  While doing the reading and scanning his energy fields, I told him that I felt he needed to get to a doctor as soon as possible.  I could feel that he was a diabetic.  His body felt thirsty to me and I could tell he drank lots of water throughout the day.  I discussed with my client the fact that this illness was the result of repressed emotions and that he needed to address it immediately.  I explained to him that Spirit had provided him the right soul (the right father) to learn the lessons that he needed to learn in this lifetime and that this was all according to his soul contract (See Newsletter 2, "What is a soul contract?") I explained to my client the importance of forgiving and releasing so that he could obtain better health and a calmer state of mind.  I added that a lack of forgiveness would only make the situation grow worse.  He argued fervently with me about this.  I could feel that this pain ran very deep and that all the emotions surrounding this pain prevented him from moving towards forgiveness.  I also explained to him that his resistance and his inability to forgive was taking up a lot of energy.  This negative energy was only attracting more negative energy.  Unfortunately, this client didn't take any steps towards forgiveness.  I found it quite sad.  I have lost touch with this client, but I have prayed for his health, well-being and ability to forgive.   

In his 1989 song, "The Heart of the Matter", Don Henley sings: 

"There are people in your life who've come and gone.  They've let you down, they've hurt your pride.  You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on.  You keep carryin that anger; it'll eat you up inside, baby.  I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter, but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness. . ."

Take a moment and think about someone you haven't forgiven?  How much of your thoughts, energy and time do you put into the place of non-forgiveness?  25%, 35%, 50%, 85%?  Does your inability to forgive consume your life?  Does it rule your actions and behavior?  Over a period of time our unwillingness to forgive affects our perception of the world.  If you've been cheated on, you begin to view all men/women as cheaters.  If your house was burglarized by a minority, you begin to view all minorities as untrustworthy.  If your boss is constantly berating you, you begin to view all forms of authority as something you want to rise up above.  If your mother was unnurturing and unloving, you feel all mothers act in the same manner.  We are no longer able to see one isolated incident of two opposing realities anymore.  We act from a place where it’s 'me' against the world. 

Do you realize that you can release yourself by forgiving someone else?  The person who hurt you or harmed you is not investing their energy in you.  Why should you invest your energy in them?  In your reality, they've hurt you tremendously.  In your reality, their actions were terrible.  In their reality, they know they screwed up or maybe they don't care.  We can never be in someone's head or their reality.  We cannot understand someone's actions.  We can analyze it and discuss it, but never truly know what motivates their reality.  Can you find your way to forgive them so you don't end up sick or ill?  Can you find your way to forgive them so you can be FREE?   

Forgiveness like so many other things in life is a CHOICE.  We can chose today to forgive someone who hurt us five minutes ago, yesterday or 25 years ago.  It's the choice, the acceptance of someone else's non-perfection, the acceptance of our own non-perfection and the releasing of the tie that binds you together that will set you free.  In forgiving someone, we see and recognize the fragility of human nature.  We all know that no one is perfect.  With that knowledge, we accept that we all make mistakes.  If we can ask Spirit to 'forgive us our trespasses" and know that Spirit will forgive us, then we should also ask for the strength to be able to forgive other's trespasses.  If you've haven't done any forgiveness work, then you'll be surprised at the feeling of freedom you receive.  It's amazing.