Recently a girlfriend told me she ended the short-term relationship with the guy she'd been dating. She added that she broke off the relationship because she started going back to Church again and she'd realized that she'd disrespected herself by getting intimate with him too soon. She felt she was giving too much, receiving very little and that she hadn't taken the time to get to know this guy before getting intimate with him. She felt she needed to reconnect with her beliefs and start over. By breaking off the relationship and 'wiping the slate clean, she hoped to renew her faith. In her broken-hearted face, I could see the pain and her desire for answers. She wanted to know why she had met another guy who'd disappointed her, AGAIN. I told her that her decision seemed to come from a place of wisdom and I added that the most important relationship we have in life is our relationship with Spirit. I told her that Spirit would never let us down, never abandon us, never turn its back, never walk away, never play games with us and never withhold love and support for us. After my conversation with her, I began to wonder why we all don't work to have an ongoing relationship with Spirit.
Is it society that conditions us to be less involved with Spirit? Is it uncool to go to Church? Unfashionable to meditate? Are you a geek if you pray or say the rosary? Are you strange or weird if you take yoga classes? Of course not, but when was the last time that you mentioned one of the above in a conversation about what you did last night or over the weekend? As is the case with my girlfriend, we turn to Spirit for support and clarity when a relationship is over. We want to know why the relationship didn't work out as we 'expected' it to and we want relief from the pain we are feeling. Why is it that we don't maintain a healthy relationship with Spirit even while we are happily married, dating or seeing someone? Why does that relationship take priority over our relationship with Spirit?
When we do not have a relationship with Spirit we are disconnected from Source. We are operating from a place in which we think the ego is more important than Spirit. In this place, we don't listen to our intuition or our gut. The ego dictates what we should do and we follow it. It's almost like saying to Spirit, "Thanks, but I don't need your help. I'm going to live life my way." When we are connected, life is easier, less challenging and more fulfilling because we have faith in everything that happens. Good or bad, right or wrong, we can see the divine perfection in everything. When was the first time in life you remember being connected to Source? Why did you let that connection go?
In these pre-2012 times, all of us are moving through issues at a faster rate. We are being forced to deal with things that previously evolved over longer periods of time. My girlfriend was nudged by Spirit to see the things in her relationship that weren't working so she could develop a deeper connection with Spirit. A few years ago, she may have dated this guy for a year before she "saw the light". Today, Spirit is moving everything along at a quicker pace. We must evolve. We have to. Our lessons, our challenges, our karma is coming at us quicker than before. We are all in the period of the 'quickening'. With that knowledge in mind, why do we put Spirit aside until we are sad, broken-hearted, disillusioned and alone? I feel it is because we don't want to do the work. Maintaining an active relationship with Spirit requires a commitment of our time. Whether it is time spent in Church, saying the rosary, saying prayers, meditating, doing yoga, chanting or saying mantras, we don't want to do the work. We don't want to commit our time. Why? I'm always surprised when I ask a client about their relationship with Spirit and they tell me that they don't have the time or that they are too stressed. You are too stressed to make time for Spirit? You don't have the time to communicate with Spirit? What? When did our relationship with Spirit take a backseat to everything else? When did our relationship with Spirit become the last thing on our 'to-do' list?
Is technology to blame? Have we gotten caught up in the trappings of technology? Our parents, grandparents and great grandparents didn't have TV, cell phones, VCR's, DVD players, Blue Ray, GPS, Ipod's or the internet but yet somehow their lives include a relationship with Spirit. Was life simpler then? Can we make that argument? I don't think so. My grandmother was born and raised in Harlem, NY during the jazz age. She lived through two world wars, the roaring twenties, the great depression, the cold war, Vietnam and yet somehow she kept Spirit close to her heart, soul and existence. I have fond memories of my grandmother sitting in her chair saying the rosary one or two times a day, asking for holy water to be taken home from Church and never taking the Lord's name in vain. Can we say that today's lifestyle is more conducive to self-involvement than connection with Spirit? The recent economic downturn and challenges in the housing and job market have brought clients to me that would have previously never considered a psychic reading. Now that they've seen the value of their investments drop, the equity in their house decrease and their desire to accumulate goods at risk, they are looking for answers. Up until this point, a relationship with Spirit wasn't a priority. Now, it is.
The wonderful thing about Spirit is that it will always be there for us when we turn our attention to it. No matter how long we've been gone or if this is our first encounter, Spirit greets us with open arms like seeing an old friend. Having a beautiful and supportive on-going relationship with Spirit can bring more joy than possibly imagined. I look forward to my time with Spirit every day. I find it magical, special, sacred and wonderful. I'm loved, I'm supported, I'm welcomed, I'm grateful and I feel blessed during my time with Spirit. There is no other place that will give you bliss than your time spent with Spirit. Without a doubt, my time with Spirit is the highlight of my day.
When I saw my girlfriend a few weeks later, she told me that this guy had called her and that they were 'involved' again. While she wasn't sure where the relationship was going, she knew that she cared for him and was going to 'wait-n-see'. Yes, they are intimate again and I couldn't help but wonder where her relationship with Spirit went? She didn't mention going to Church at all. Did she turn her back and walk away from Spirit? Did she think that things would be different now? I don't know. I do know she's missing out on having a dynamic, loving and supportive relationship with Spirit that will ultimately be more rewarding to her than this relationship. I do know she's missing out on connection to Source. While the choice to have a relationship or not have a relationship with Spirit is uniquely our own, I hope all of you choose to develop your relationship with Spirit. Doing so, will never be a decision you'll regret.
Please claim your baggage at carousel #1
I have had clients tell me that they won't date anyone who is divorced with kids because they don't want to deal with the baggage. I have had clients tell me they won't work with family because there's too much baggage. I have had clients tell me that it is hard and at times challenging to be friends with someone they dated/married/divorced because there's too much baggage. The holiday season is also a trigger for many people of all the family baggage that they have. After spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with family most people have had enough of that baggage too.
Baggage. Why does the word have such a negative feel to it? Why are we so put off with the thought of dealing with someone else's baggage? Why do we ignore our own baggage? While most people won't admit to physically carrying around their past in Louis Vuitton or Target suitcases, they will admit to having a past that includes some baggage. Have you met anyone who didn't have baggage? Baggage defines who we are just like having blond hair or blue eyes. The amount of baggage we carry around varies from person-to-person. Some of us hold on tightly to every disapproving look, comment or action made against us and have lots of baggage in tow that weighs us down. Others seem almost carefree and walk around lighter. Depending on what your outlook is, you can carry an overnight valise, a Pullman or a steamer trunk around with you. Unfortunately, baggage carried around too long shifts our perception of who we are. We allow the baggage to 'define' who we are and our walk along the path stops or becomes altered in view.
Take a moment and ask yourself the following questions:
What do I "carry" around about myself? What old tapes or movies do I continue to play in my head? What do I dislike about myself? What events are keeping me with one foot in the past? What regrets do I have? Who am I unwilling to forgive or release? Why? What old hurts, disappointments or resentments am I clinging tightly to? What am I disgraced about?
While baggage comes in many sizes and styles, it also comes in different forms. Baggage can be emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual.
Emotional baggage - Emotional baggage is all about our feelings. Do we carry negative feelings about ourselves, others, both? Do we have distortions based on sadness, grief or guilt? Do we view men or women all the same based on relationship disappointments? Do we have feelings of being stuck, hopeless or disillusioned, etc? Those feelings are buried deep within us. They manifest in the way we present ourselves to the world. Are we suspicious of others? Do we think someone is out to get us? Do we shut ourselves off? Do we feel pent-up anger or tears that we are afraid to release because they might overwhelm us? Physical baggage - Physical baggage is all about our physical body. Physical baggage manifests as the destructive damage we do to our bodies. We may eat all the wrong foods, drink too much alcohol, smoke too many cigarettes or take too many drugs. In effect, we don't want the physical body to exist in a healthy manner so we dull the senses through drugs and alcohol, overwork the body by eating too much or eating the wrong types of food and put on excess weight in order to hide how we really want to be and be seen. Psychological baggage - Psychological baggage is all about how we perceive ourselves, others and the world. These perceptions are shaped by our experiences. Almost all of our childhood experiences have led us to the perceptions we have today. If you perceive a specific situation or person could harm you or cause you a lot of pain, you'll avoid it completely. Because of one situation from a long time ago, you have never let go of that baggage. It is your lens to the world. Spiritual baggage - Spiritual baggage is linked to emotional, physical and psychological baggage. When we are feeling bad or negative and don't take care of our physical selves and have a tainted perception of the world, our belief in Spirit diminishes. We wonder if there truly is Spirit and why if it exists it isn't helping us.
Ironically, we maintain a love/hate relationship with our baggage. We want to be rid of it, but we often find comfort in our baggage. After all it is our own and it is familiar. We may not like it, but it provides a safety net. The longer we hold onto our baggage the safer we are, the more protected we feel. On the other hand, walking our path and embracing the Divine requires a lot of us. Isn't it easier to just hang onto the baggage (so says the ego)? Years ago I was told the following quote:
"If everyone took their problems and put them in a pot, they'd all take the same problems out again."
Why? Because we know our baggage. We look at someone else's baggage and think, "Oh my! I don't want to deal with that. That's a nightmare! I'll keep what I've got." Yet we never fully embrace the thought of completely letting go of our own baggage. Why? How do we lighten our load? How do we get rid of our baggage? Firstly, you must be willing and ready to do so. You must want to be rid of what no longer serves you and be ready to embrace newness in your life. Secondly, you need to be willing to look at yourself, your actions, your behaviors and understand how you have played the role in your baggage. It's very easy to point to the one(s) in your life who have been unlovable, unavailable, disconnected or detached, but we need to accept responsibility for our role in the drama. Thirdly, you need to forgive and release. Forgive those who have hurt you, harmed you, disappointed you, didn't love you or treated you badly. Didn't they have baggage too? It is only through forgiving and releasing that we truly set ourselves free. Finally, you need to include Spirit in this decision. Pray for healing, pray for release, pray for the strength and courage to move forward. Light candles, commune with the Divine and really ask that Spirit help you in this process. Why not?When we have done all these things, we feel comfortable enough in leaving the baggage at the airport carousel and walking away. We know there are no tags on the baggage so it won't find its way back to us. This letting go of the baggage creates an opening in our lives. A beautiful opening in which we can embrace our paths fully and fill the space with love, joy and beauty.
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